Me with my lovilies...last summer
Augh. Being a mama is tough. I love the quote that goes something like, "A mother knows what it is like to have her heart walk around outside of her body each day." So much love but so much craziness. On so many days I get to noon and think, "Did I even have breakfast?" I feel like I walk around like a zombie most days just shooting for survival, thank you to a "big boy", who gets very angry if you call him a "little boy". And likes to get up several times during the night just to make sure you are still home. Not sure where he thinks we would go, but.... Or a little girl who JUST started sleeping through the night at 13 months and will still occasionally grace us with her presence due to a night terror...yes, it makes me sad, but so frustrating too! Never in my life have I had such deep dark circles under my eyes....consistently. Never in my life have I said that my dream vacation would not be under a cabana sipping a pretty pink cocktail of some sort but rather at home. With no one here. Cleaning closets and organizing so that at the end of the vacation I feel like I can go back into my week without the insanity that usually occurs. But you know what. I embrace those little beauty marks circles. Well, kind of. Why? Because they mean I am a mama.
I have often wondered just how many things I am able to accomplish by 8 am because I am MOM. I tried counting a few times and lost track so quickly because there were too many. Or maybe it was because Sadie was sharing her bottle with the dog again or had a blowout RIGHT after I got her dressed and Joshua was refusing to put on his shoes and eat breakfast because he was just laying on the floor contemplating the meaning of life as a four year old causing us to be late...again...for school. Studies show that a typical mother accomplishes more "to dos" in the first few hours of her day than a CEO accomplishes in a WHOLE day. ***sigh*** And they get paid the big bucks. Not to mention no one comes home and says, "Wow Mom! Thanks for cleaning the kitchen floor today!" (Only to have a muffin crumbled on it five minutes later!) Or "Gee Mom, it's so great that you taught us how we always need to take our shoes off when we get home and put them in the basket!" Or even better yet, "Mom, thanks for not letting me eat another cupcake when I really want it because you want me to understand a balanced diet as I grow older!"
But I digress. I love my kids so, so much and until you are a parent you can not fathom how much love one person contains inside of their body. You feel it for your spouse of course, don't get me wrong. But being a parent is a heart breaking kind of love. I ache for my kids. For their day, their happiness and their future. AND I just pray I do even a semi decent job. I can't imagine life without these two rugrats. In fact, I don't remember much of life before them! And that's okay. Beyond the whole sleep thing of course:). My grandmother always says that from the moment your babies are born, you are slowly letting go. And that's hard on so many levels. And I wouldn't change being a mama for all the tea in China. Although I would be interested to hear how much tea really is in China...
So for all of you mamas out there who feel like each day is the same old thing each day and you don't know if you are getting through to your kids... Grab a box of kleenex and watch this little gem of a commercial and give yourself a pat on the back for all of the sacrifices you make each day that go unnoticed. That you don't get paid for. And praise God that He lets you go about your day with your heart wandering outside of your body.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NScs_qX2Okk&feature=youtu.be&hd=1
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