TO OUR DEAR LILY- the worst parenting decision ever!

(This is a post from almost two months ago that I forgot to post! Ha!  Shows how crazy life is! Trying to catch up though.)

Aunts and uncles are great.  Right? While Mom and Dad have been packing fools, Sadie and Joshua have had the privilege of hanging out at some pretty fun places with Aunt Linda, Uncle Steven, and Aunt Lyndsey.

First up?  The Kansas City Renaissance Festival!  Great people watching!  I haven't been in years and we took Joshua when he was a baby, but this year he went with them while we house hunted.  He speared the dragon, at a turkey leg, did some archery, rode the rides and enjoyed watching one of our favorite performers who has been there since I was a kid.  Actually, from a up close seat he announced right after the show started, "When is it going to be over?"  The head performer heard and said, "EXACTLY!!" Love his enthusiasm.

 

 

 

 

Up next?  The Baldwin City Maple Leaf Festival!  Basically a big craft fair with rides.  It was beautifully weather and we were amazed to hear the rides that his aunts and uncle talked him into!  Isn't peer pressure fabulous??

 

 

 

 

 

 

But the highlight of the trip?  Well Joshua winning his first real pet...a lovely goldfish.  When the adults were  trying to decide if this was a good thing for our family, Aunt Lyndsey made the point, "That's what aunts and uncles are supposed to do....buy them things they don't need or parents don't want them to have!"  Haha....NOTED!!  My siblings be warned, pay back is a .....  We promise to up the gift and it will not be a small little goldfish this time!

So as if we had nothing else on our plate, the family that swore we would never have little pets was suddenly "blessed" with a new member.  Joshua name the fish "Lily", after one of his best friends, and the first few days wanted her near him every second.  It was pretty cute.

About a week later, he wasn't as interested because Lily came with the responsibility of a chore.  Lily had to be feed twice a day and the fun of this wore off quickly.  One morning when I reminded him to feed her, he even replayed, "No Mom, you can do it."  To which I said no of course and then heard, "No Mom, it's really okay, you can do it!"  Don't worry, he eventually completed the mission:).  

 

 

Well, all good things must come to an end and Lily passed away about two weeks later.  Actually, I think I accidentally killed her when I changed her water.  As most parents feel, we had no idea how to handle the situation.  However, Joshua had been VERY naughty that day so in a POOR lapse of judgement, I made the following suggestion to Art.  "What if we use this to our advantage when he act us again and we tell him that because of his choices, he has proven he is not responsible enough for a pet and Lily will need to find a new home?"  "Brilliant!" Art said!  We won't have to confront the real issue!   We did leave her floating body in the bowl to deal with later though.....

So as one would assume, he got quite snippy with his father as the night went on so we sat down in the living room to have our serious conversation.  Here's how it went:

(Me, in the calmest, gentlest voice I could find) Joshua, we need to have a serious talk.  You were very naughty today.  You made Mommy and Daddy very sad with your choices.  And kids that make good choices are responsible kids and they get to have special privileges, like own a fish.  Since you have not been making good choices, Daddy and I think Lily needs to find a new home with someone who is responsible for their actions.

(What came next was the most heart breaking cry any parent could have ever heard.  I-mean-awful.  I immediately shot Art a look that said this was the world's WORST idea in the world to have done this to the poor kid!! And he shot a look back that said he couldn't agree more.)

(Me) I'm so sorry honey.

(J) You can't do that!  You can't give her away! She is my fish!  I won her! (All stated between sobs)

(Me) I know sweetie but your just not making good choices right now.

(J) I'll do better!  I promise!

(Me) Joshua, we made this decision and I'm sorry that you made these choices.

What happened next, did not occur to me as a possibility of our talk......

(J) LILY!!  I need to see her! (And he made a mad dash for the kitchen)

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(Art and I just look at each other, scared of what was going to happen next and what else we were going to have to discuss with the little guy)

(J's sobbing has stopped by now) Mom, you need to come in the kitchen.  Lily is not acting normal.

I join him in the kitchen.

(J) See, she's not normal.  She's not swimming.  What wrong with her?  Why is she acting funny?

I was at a loss for words.

(J) Is she DEAD????

(Me) I think so, honey.

(J) Are you sure?

(Me) Yeah, she's not moving.  I'm so, so sorry, Joshua.  ( I go to give him a hug at this point in which he just moves to the middle of the kitchen and SHOUTS............)

(J) YOU WOULD GIVE MY DEAD FISH TO SOMEONE!!!??? THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!

(As one could imagine, Art and I had to hold back our tears of laughter at this comment, but were almost happy to tell him that we would not have to give a dead fish to someone so the problem was solved and all were happier.  Although we both still felt AWFUL about the way we handled it.)

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LESSONS LEARNED ON ALL ACCOUNTS:  Joshua will be more responsible for his pets....and respectful (hahahaha, not really).  Art and I will never escalate a punishment again!!